Mom is lying comfortably for the most part. It wasn't fun having them insert the catheter but the relief for her has seemed great!
Throughout the day she has ....whether due to being lost in her delirium or just was showing her wallace sense of humour.....remained giggly.... Smiling and ....well just sweet. Thats my mom always sweet.
I dont want her to be going through this. There isn't a single damn thing I can do to change it. I hate it. It's not fair. Its not right. It is....what it is!
She is the dearest thing to me.
As I sit here i think how slowly ..... Over the last few years I have lost pieces of her....the writer..... The card player.....the cook and the baker..... The organizer .... The caregiver. and how I have come to know different pieces of her.
The frightened, lost little girl inside the woman... The woman who sacrificed so much....and lives with regrets .... Of not being everything she thinks she could have been. Of not travelling where she could have gone. Of not doing more for those she loved.
Funny I see her with no defects... No faults nothing missing....
One great mom, friend and woman...
I hope I have helped her know that... That she is perfect. I know Kim has done her best to have her know just that. More than anyone. Kim has been amazing....
Im scared to lose her... Not the pieces. Her!! All of her. I can take her as she is. Slightly broken ....less than perfect...
Cause she still fills my world with light love and laughter...
I cannot however picture her suffering.....Struggling......
Ive been grieving losing my mom for months......losing those pieces ...just like life it is a process.... A process I have absolutely no control over.
I think you understand....i know you understand.
Someday. We will lose her.
For her sake I am ready. For mine......not so much...
Love you so much. Almost as much as her!!😉🌺
To my Uncle Keith December 7th in the wee hours of the morning....
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