the pressing question is ...what can I do to improve me , my life, my world..
In 2013 there was the winter that wouldn't end , the spring that never was and the calmest summer I can recall for sometime.....
There were reunions with old friends and visits from far away guests. Hard times and good times...
There were a few deaths that I want to mention ....Mrs. Boyd... a lady that was a significant part of my child hood....she was the mother of 8 children . A lady that cared for foster children eventually adopting a young girl with cerebral palsy....Her husband died when her youngest child was around 9 .
How do I remember Joan Boyd.... I remember her calling her boys in for super or for bedtime...Roger , Neil, Gene and if you ask any of us that were kids in those days they will tell you it is one of their most memorable memories of her......I have other special memories like the shower she had for me when my son was born and the day she taught me how to make choke cherry juice and jelly. RIP Joan your memory lives on in many of us... Her daughter died too a short time later.... RIP Sandy.
MY aunt Sharon Wallace passed on this year as well... My memories of Sharon when I was a little girl are of a very beautiful and well spoken lady that always dressed well and rarely did I see her without a smile on her face.... She fought the BIG C battle and she never lost ........not in my eyes ........she went down fighting..... Aunt Sharon would call me and we would chat ....her encouragement in those phone calls regarding my parents was always welcomed and I miss them...... RIP aunt Sharon .....you live on in your children and grand children.....all beautiful well spoken and somewhat well dressed....kidding cousins....and some of the most beautiful smiles....You are with my uncle your husband once more.
Someone died just the day before last ....In the hospital where my dad is a patient....right across the hall....she wasn't someone that brought back childhood memories or anyone I was related to. She was a resident at Mulberry Estates where my parents live.....She was always in a wheelchair and had to be on oxygen all the time ... She sat at a table in the dining room with the wife of a man who had died and had been my carpenter at work.and also with a lady whose grandson had been my sons friend...he had been killed...This lady's name was Sylvia......when Sylvia died ,,,when the nurses told me they were moving a body and that we must stay in the room with door closed I took a deep breath and wondered if it was the poor dear ... the lady that smiled behind that oxygen mask , the lady that dressed up for Halloween and the lady that I found one day locked out of her suite.....scared and panicking .....the lady whose hand I took in mine and said it would be OK that I would get her help . I checked her room when I could leave dad's and it was her....that had died.....
I spoke to Sylvia on Christmas Day.......just like I always did when I visited the table at lunch or when I met her in the hall...I wished her a Merry Christmas ! In the elevator on the way up to get my dad for Christmas supper I didn't know it would be her last....RIP Sylvia
IN 2013 I learned that Life is precious..
I complain alot on Face Book about not feeling well and I am sure happy to have so many caring friends . I honestly don't know what I would do without you all . I used to belong to a forum for depression and shared with people that also had depression.....the nice thing is most of you have either experienced depression or know someone that has ..unlike the forum however I find you all to be upbeat and many of you have helped me through times that were really tough....I thank YOU all with all my heart I appreciate each and everyone of you... I don't reach out looking for sympathy or out of pity for myself it is for understanding and compassion and you provide those things...Again Thank you....Very Much
I learned alot this past week....especially to be thankful
Christmas Eve day we worked we spent the early part of the afternoon handing out bonus checks and gifts and having a chat. I went to visit my folks around 3 only to find out they had gone to the hospital before lunch...I was shocked... Mom always calls me when something is up.....I panicked then I gathered myself and headed to the hospital...I found mom at the reception desk trying to get them to call me.... Mom has trouble with communicating and was having a tough time ...the relief on her face and in my heart when we saw each other was immense. I continued to the ER with mom to find dad waved to the Dr through the glass and got all their info figured out. Dad has dementia so the Poor Dr was pretty confused ....Regardless I was happy to find them and discover that their trip to ER was only for a belly pain...My dad has kidney cancer has had it for 6 years and has been very fortunate without pain.....until lately which was the reason for the trip to ER.....some very good things came about from this event though... 1 I had the wrong cell number on moms phone and on file at the hospital,,,,2 mom was down as dads contact name for hospital instead of me.....3the new managers at Mulberry are now aware that they need to cal me if anything happens with mom and dad .....they did not know that when they arranged for transportation to the hospital...
4 and they too had wrong cell number. Mom had called my home number and old cell number 3 times . Poor dear,,, I also now have call forward on my home phone to get her calls to my cell if I am out of the house.
At the end of the day I was thankful that this not so emergent situation had helped me to get everything in order in case there was a real emergency! I went to sleep that night very thankful...
Then on Boxing Day after a day of sickness my dad did not seem well. I was alone with him and he started to look very ill. He told me he was dying.. I had no idea and thought that the cold he was fighting along with other factors were making this happen . I called the ambulance who told me do not administer anything liquid or otherwise... keep calm they were on their way... I Went down to the dining room got my mom from her table and took her up to dad... He was not well at all....I thought he was dying....he thought he was.......then it hit me Blood Sugar! I grabbed his Blood sugar test kit and poked his finger... tested the blood 1.9 OMG now what they had said no fluids etc. I for some reason opened the door to the hall and there stood a home care aid... I asked her if she would give me her opinion and told her what just happened and that I wanted to give dad juice for the low blood sugar and she said yes and started to help me. I grabbed a can of ginger ale and she started to open an orange juice....he was able to drink alot, The kind lady that had helped me explained her daughter had died at the age of 25 from a blood sugar low and that she was so glad I had opened the door and found her to help me... I was again thankful....The ambulance attendants arrived and reassured me I had done the right thing.... 3.1 was the reading they got....dad was taken to hospital... There were many factors tha led to the low blood sugar and he needed to be hospitalised for care..to get rehydrate him and get his sugars levelled out....he is still in there.....and doing much better... For that decision I am thankful
I complained on FB about the care my dad received......I want to say at the end of the day it isn't most of the nurses that are at fault! There were a few I would have canned if I was their boss but Lisa, Inga Courtney and the other good ones you are the best!! Dr. Vanheerden you are wonderful and one helluva handsome dude if I do say so myself....NO really he is..
I am not sure how the health care system can be mended but it is broken and desperately in need of repair.....We hired Life Force to have care aids sit with him and look after him exactly how we would . I know without them he would not have done as well and we the family would not have slept well....Thank you Ladies. Star, Kim, Sheila and Tillie(whom I never even met and she brought in 2014 with my dad) you were wonderful for my dad and us.(good names too!!)...Thank you to their manger Elizabeth for having someone at the hospital 45 minutes after my initial phone call,,,,,you are an angel....For ALL of you I am thankful
Besides being thankful what did I learn.
I learned that things happen for a reason .....I learned that my mom is very capable of making good decisions for her and dad. I learned that nurses and Drs work their butts off and that sometimes you need to spend money to get peace of mind..... I learned that siblings need to stick together no matter what when their parents are ill and I learned than me and my siblings can....and did...... I learned tha my parents live in a place where they are cared about ...and I learned that they like where they live....
I learned that sometimes people can support you and others cannot .....they aren't able to ,,,I learned tha a grouchy nurse can be softened and become friendly if encouraged and appreciated and that some will never budge from their hard nose ways... I learned that strangers can become family and family can be strange (lol) I learned that there still are a lot of good people out there. I also learned that I need to trust myself and the choices I make.and most of all throughput I learned that I can be strong and effective in times of desperation.... the need to act not react and the desire to have good results requires calmness and planning.
Most importantly I learned that family is love and love is all there really is....if you let go of everything else...that gets in its way
I didn't ask God for much this week ,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,I however thanked him all of the time
So how can I change my life I have learned simply by being thankful!
IN 2014 I wish for you love and kindness, good health and wisdom.....and gratitude
Again
I thank you for being in my life
Happy New Year ..
Sheila
