I just don't give a damn

I will write this blog and spill my thoughts regardless of those that think its a pity trip or others that will  think it's all bull shit!

I feel like crap day in and day out! It is frustrating to wake up and face the day feeling like a bag of shit!
I came to know a young lady recently and it's her I think of when I write this! Sometimes I can be all nicey, nice but right now I just want to say no one gets it NO ONE gets it at all! Bits and pieces of what I put up with maybe but not this whole package I deal with on a daily basis!

The young lady I speak of was in a bad accident years ago ! She doesn't know but I prayed and prayed for that little girl and now she faces life in a wheel chair!  I thought to myself you know I really have nothing to complain about compared to this lady nothing! I contemplated all her hardships all the inconveniences and upsets presented to her on a regular daily basis! How down right selfish of me to think I should feel any sorrow or any strife with my few inadequacies!

 Then Somewhere in the back of my head I heard her ! Ah ***k it. Let it go we all get sick of our own bull shit ! It doesn't matter what form it's in if it seems worse for you than it does for me ***k it!
Let It ALL OUT!

SO I will I am so tired of pretending I am strong or feel good at all I don't ***k it !I hurt I'm dizzy I'm confused and barely feel like myself! I'm sad and I'm angry I can't walk without feeling like I'm falling!

I don't eat this and that or drink this or that so I can feel better well bull shit! Tired of trying massages, acupuncture ,cranial sacral, herbal remedies ,herbs vitamins natural paths reflexologist ,psychics doctor specialists meditation relaxation yoga and all over 30 years
I am sick dammit and ***king sick of it! I've had 24 hour flu for nearly 30 years.
Somedays might be better than others in reality it is when I am stronger and better at hiding it!
I do damn well for what I've been dealt with and I am proud of my many accomplishments .I work on accepting things for how they are and then some times when it hurts too much and it's hard to bear I  just say ***k it!





Tomorrow will be better.