I was asking my self today ...why haven't you wrote a blog about depression? I replied because people just don't get it . I will likely be judged....There will be a few that relate either through their own experience or they know someone that has been visited by the dark cloud or perhaps they think they were depressed ....
Then there are those ....and it surprises me how many there still are that look at depression along with other mental illnesses as a way to get attention or that it is a character flaw with comments such as"How can they be like that?" or "Why are they acting like that to get pity?" "They could snap out of it if they just would get over it!"
I have been too long diagnosed with a mental illness to take these comments to heart but it is phrases like these that can really be harmful to the newly diagnosed or the undiagnosed... Depression hurts , depression is real and depression is lonely.
I have had many supports in my life.. Good friends family members.....my mom . They are all to be thanked for listening to me and being there for me when I reached out..That is one of the things we are told to do ....as a depressed person ...reach out ....Sometimes people are deep enough in their own stuff they can't be there for me and ....I always understand that. I have had the rare occasion where I had to pick up the phone and cry to a complete stranger because there was no one there for me ....for one reason or another....it is so important to talk...talking....helps stop the over thinking.....most times.....when it doesn't that is when its time to go get professional help.... cant handle it alone.....
Psychiatrists are all pill pushing idiots as far as I am concerned ...I have been very fortunate to have had the same counsellor for over 23 years.....off and on.... when I need her...She has inspired me and I (she tells me ) have inspired her......She taught me how to cut depression up into little pieces and then look at all the parts and work on them one at a time...Depression is so hard to beat if you try beat "depression" It is much better to look at the things that have brought you to the point of greyness and sadness and hopelessness......to the place where nothing seems hopeful or worth it
Those pieces can be life events ,,,,death,,,,moves,,,,births,,,,,,losses,,,change......
or they can be illness, a cell phone that wont work or a day that nothing can go right....or maybe just thoughts...thinking wrong.....stinky thinking,,,,negative thoughts .....unable to see the good side of anything.......It is like the only thing your ears want to hear are the nasty things and the only thing your eyes can pick out are the awful things....and the only thing your mind can conjure up are your guilty things your weaknesses and your tragedies........how terrible you are and how horrible your life is....
......I taught her that depression isn't always text book variety...I showed her how willing I was to be free of the darkness and how I didn't like to be caught up in it...How lonely I could feel and how empowering it was to know I wasn't alone I also gave her reason to believe that maybe medication is necessary...... .
She retires this year......I will miss her.....
It sucks that anyone would see me or any of us suffering as anything less than somebody that is sick......
It is an illness.....
There is a chemical imbalance that happens regardless of how be it the negative thoughts the life events or many other situations that create it......it is no different than a malfunctioning pancreas..heart...liver.....kidney......it is your brain.....your brain is an organ....it can get sick just like any other organ.....some brains are more sensitive...some people are more sensitive......
If I could have lived without experiencing depression I would gladly have done it..
Wasn't in the cards for me...
I am proud of all the times I have come out on top after sinking so low....
IF you know someone that is depressed ...listen without judging.......visit without advising,,,,,,,,,smile while wiping a tear away.................share your own weaknesses .....pass on a positive affirmation.......take them for an ice cream or maybe for a walk in a park.........laugh even if they don't......cry if it makes you .....remind them of the good things the good times ...........and remember..................a hug makes a great band aid for a broken mind.....
"It is difficult to fight the enemy when the enemy is your own mind"
