Laurie Anderson

Tonite I ask you to pray for Laurie Anderson...right now she needs our prayers ...She deserves an apology from many ...Those that denied her the care she needed , those that said no to a surgery date and those beaurcrats that sit behind their big wooden desks and tell the people that are supposed to care for us what they can and cannot do.

Well what they can't do now is turn back the time and remove the cancer from her lymphatic system and who knows where else it has settled in ....in her tiny 33 year old body...
You know Laurie is no different from you or you or me..She got sick she asked for help she pleaded for help and got sicker and sicker and now ...she needs our prayers...
Charles Adler spoke clearly tonight about how the "health" care system is failing...it is failing and that means we are not able to count on a program put in place and funded by us with our tax dollars, to take care of us....and the ones we love...
Lets keep to the positive though..keep Laurie in mind and in your heart and prayers  then .say a prayer for all of those caught up in the health care system..
We also need to say  prayer for the system and all of its workers....Dr.s, Nurses, Lab techs, etc. after all that is where we really need intervention...with those that can provide the care if able to.
Good night and Laurie...TAKE GOOD CARE!
You are a shining star!

Crocus Creek Healing Labyrinth now posted on International Labyrinth Website

THE PATTERN OF MY lABYRINTH

a CLASSIC 7 CIRCUIT

My 5 year old Grandson walking the Labyrinth

The Labyrinth is about 45 feet across with prairie grass paths and rock edges.

 It is adorned with garden ornaments

This labyrinth has been built as a healing tool for me and anyone that calls and would like to experience its healing power. I will be having Labyrinth celebration days. And will also look forward to celebrating World Labyrinth Day 2012 by myself or with any others that would like to join me...I will serve up refreshments and it will be a great time to share and walk...it is a very empowering experience.

This will be on Saturday May 5th so if you are interested mark it on your calendar now...My place is very easy to get to . On all paved roads.....
Read here about the special day

 http://labyrinthsociety.org/world-labyrinth-day

If you would like to come please e-mail me and provide your mailing address so I can send you a package on Labyrinths and an official invitation with wha tto wear and anything you might want to bring along...

February 12th Crocus Creek

Wasn't that a beautiful full moon last week.  I went for my usual moonlit walk and enjoyed the spookiness of the my halflit surroundings.
I have been spoiling my mule deer . I know its warm I know they don't need any extra food.....but they eat the candy!!!!

a few of the 31 I counted tonite

I have been over thinking everything lately. So it is time to start acting and stop some of this obsessive thinking. I know where that leads and I would prefer not to go there....

I am going to find a choir to sing in as it has been a life long dream of mine to sing and in a choir would be wonderful.

I am going to get back to CURVES the place that helped me build my endurance and feel healthy 8 years ago. 

I am going to get massages , acupuncture or whatever I can to help this aching neck.  It hurts so bad it has become unbearable.

AND I think I have found 2 kittens for Charlotte. The lady I got Piper from came for a visit with a young man that has several available and in April two for them will be mine...I would like 2 orange ones and he has two ......but they must be males ...A male costs $150 to neuter and it is over $265 to spay a female cat.   so it only make sense ...After all I spent over $1500.00 on vet bills on my farm cats up to now. That's why Tom loves Charlotte so much now  ...but actually take $1500 divide by 5 equals 300. Had 3 for most for those years so 300 divided by 3 equals 100 . Hell that is only 100 a year for mouse and gopher catching duties.....If they will just quit leaving the little dead critters on my step...(shows they appreciate me!!!)

Anyway I am going to do these things... For me..



I went for a quad ride today over in to the back corner of our land., It is in the back corner where our land meets the park that things are most natural. It is time for the bucks to lose their antlers and we had seen a few without so decided I would walk a few of the ravines and look for any they might have dropped back there.

Not everyone knows but deer grow and lose their antlers every year. At about this time every year they lose the antlers they have been carrying... then a new antler starts growing almost immediately. The bucks go into seclusion at this time of year because as the antlers grow they are soft bone covered in blood filled hair"velvet".They continue to grow in mass and height throughout the spring and summer. IN the early fall there is a hormonal change and the velvet reaches a stage where it can peel off.  After that the antlers are hard and they scrape them over and over on trees posts etc. to not only get all the velvet off but to mark their territory, The antlers become bigger as the buck gets older and then they get smaller after the buck reaches his peak . The antlers are weapons when the rut"mating season" is on . There are many viscous fights and many deer end up with deep scars from these fights for dominance. Some deer lose their lives due to a stabbing blow or others meet their fate when antlers get locked together and can't come apart.

I didn't find a single antler but what I did find was it was absolutely beautiful day to walk in the hills. The snow was shallow and the wind non existent when I was down in the valley. A hawk flew up in front of me totally surprising me as they are not usually here at this time of year.. With the weather we have been having it probably will be common as I venture out more and more.

My daughter is going through a trying time with health issues...again .
I appreciate all your prayers for her to get help quickly this year and to heal even faster....
Love you Kimmy!!

 

LIfe is a Lesson. Everyone Our Teacher.

Those words "Life is a Lesson, Everyone Our Teacher. "are some that I read a long time ago...I have battled depression over 1/2 of my life and one of the lines that sticks out from all of those that mattered ,as I travelled on my journey of self help, is this one.

Tuesday evening smothered in grief I decided to walk my labyrinth to sort out some of the emotion I was feeling . Because the line said life is a lesson.....but what was I to take from the death of a friend that was so special to me? If life is a lesson everyone our teacher what is the role of death?
So across the valley and on to the plateau where my labyrinth is I walked. Tears flowed down my cheeks and I let my two feet that I could not feel take me there. I was numb and I was broken hearted....
As I reached the entrance to my circular path,with its rocky edges, I thanked Mother Nature for going easy on the snow this winter so I was able to access it easily in this time of need. I had sought out the healing power of the labyrinth many times before.
I faced the west as I do when I start and prayed Dear Lord help me find some comfort and understanding in this death ...Help me to see how losing someone so unexpectedly and so suddenly can be of any benefit to me ...at all...Cause right now God it doesn't feel that way ..Why was Jack taken so soon from us ............so soon from his life....
I started to walk , trusting the power of the Labyrinth to bring me some sanity to the insane, all over the place mind, I owned at that moment..

I started walking and thinking you know he was such a gentle soul God .. he cared for all he met , he shared his caring self with all . He respected nature and went out of his was for his animals maybe more so than his human friends they, got all of him. He loved his family and always looked forward to the visits of the far away ones when they came to the farm.The farm he worked daily to keep alive! The farm that he cherished . He complained at times of the hard work and the aches and pains he faced on rising in the morning ..if he had slept...he didn't sleep much he often told us...He had worked cutting trees through his life to earn extra income. His arms were strong and his hands were well worn. He tended to his garden. He grew a garden so big ...why we would ask him why so big ? Cut your work load down Jack....but he grew a big garden and he shared...he shared his Potatoes and many varieties came my way and I imagine to others as well. .He knew the names I just know some had white flesh, yellow flesh, or purple . Some over wintered better than others and some were better for baking...he shared the potatoes and the knowledge. It would start in early spring with his tomatoes and  in the heat boxes to get them a good start for planting time. The potatoes were planted one at  a time with a spade and a step to pack them in. Tom tried to talk him in to cultivating the land where the potatoes would go and then to just step them in as he had done with his parents and how we do it now....Nope spade and pack...He would ask me how to plant this or how did I plant that and in the beginning I would provide little tips from my little garden and he would share some with me. I loved to see him out in his garden ...It was another job ...he did well.
Jack was by today's standards a hoarder...I prefer to say collector . He could not part with anything that meant anything and most things that were part of Jack's life meant something ......to him.  He had sheds filled with items that no one had an idea were there...But if someone mentioned they needed something that he knew he had ...well he had it out and showing it to you in minutes. Offering it to you ...although if you used it and were done with it he made sure you knew to bring it back. AND he kept track trust me!! He had every chainsaw he had ever owned , every snow machine , every  thing that made up his collection...to me that was alright that was who Jack was and that is what Jack wanted....that is what made him happy. His things, his animals, his farm that is what made him happy.

Beaver

Then there was "Jackie Bushman " we called him... .  He grew up in the bush and it was second nature for him to be able to walk through the bush and walk back out no problem. My Son Rion was fortunate enough ot have spent many hours with Jack in the forest. They would explore and discover many great finds together . Rion credits Jack for his love of the forest and his ability to make his way around without getting lost.. .Jack hunted with a gun when we met him. My hubby gave him a bow and some arrows . It had been Tom's first bow and now it was Jacks he took to it and never looked back . He shot his animals with bow and arrow from then on. His picture was in the awards book proudly several years. Tom would tease him as he was now a trophy hunter he didn't hunt for meat anymore. He has won several awards and well deserved for harvesting a trophy with his bow.
I remembered how he treated each and every hunter that had to come to him to ask permission to cross his pasture land to get into the forest to hunt. He was friendly and usually would see them again at the kitchen table for a coffee. 
There were so many things I thought of as I walked putting one foot in front of the other following the path until I reached the middle of the labyrinth...I stopped looked west and my mind slowed down....my sobs turned into tears flowing gently down my cheeks....The sky was blue with a few clouds scattered about in a feathery fashion...
I thanked God for having let me meet Jack and for providing my family with the opportunity to live along and grow with him . I was thankful he had been my husbands best friend and the best type of friend he could have had. I was thankful for my son and my daughter being able to experience a man with such a kind a caring nature as part of their childhood and right into their adult lives. My daughter in law and Grandson and all of the friends we took there with us. He gave something of himself to each of us and all of them ....
As I headed out of the centre I focused on the question at hand,"What did I learn from this death ..."The answers came quickly and were numerous.
Jack was my teacher.....I care for my animals in the ways he did his. I love them and I respect them and they are very important in my life....

He taught me that work was important  he  worked all the time ...I don't think  he enjoyed to work all the time ......regardless he did what he needed to do and complained little As he would say " What do you do?" I realized I need to work on this one.
He taught me how to treat people with respect and love and that in turn it would come back to you. I have been doing my best with this one.
He taught me that friendship is not based on expectations. I say yes that is so!
He taught me that  family comes first . AMEN!

 My Parents

He taught me that it was good to share the things we harvest. That's reflected in my huge garden.
He taught me to be gentle in my actions .  Need to work on this one.
He taught me to eat well . Thanks Jack we were junk food junkies before you!
He taught me to listen and he taught me it was okay to share with some one we trusted. :)
Most of all thought he taught me in dying that he abided by one of the most important lessons in life....
Live today like there will be no tomorrow ........Life is a privilege and can be taken away at anytime..

You left to soon my friend     ...Thank you Jack .... May you Rest in Peace
Love forever Sheila

Interesting or I just think too much??

I found it interesting to lose someone I absolutely cannot imagine being in my world without. Jack was one of a kind and really it is going to be tough for me/us to live without him....life goes on....his passing just leaves this huge unappealing dark empty spot in my future!

 I noticed how interesting it was Jack passed Sunday...Sunday I lived life as I chose...I laid in bed with my puppies ..I wanted a mellow day ...watched a few movies and rested my aching neck. Monday I got up for work...the usual feed the dogs take my herbs and decide whats for supper. Lights out doors locked and off to work with Tom. Kim had MRI in Regina and other than that uneventful day. Tuesday we did the same routine . On the way into Moose Jaw we sang to a few good old songs on the radio and mentioned how the station was a good one for the good old songs we new the words to.  Work was hectic.Something unexpected I had to use all my "lawyer" skills to fight a dispute with one of our clients that was causing us a tremendous amount of grief it was all consuming for me...although I caught myself several times getting tenses and stopped myself and then slowing down my mind and body I proceeded  to gather the information and create the best defence without making a mess of myself which I have been really good at doing in the past! Off for a wonderful lunch at DeJa Vu one of the best meals we had lately . Back to the job at hand and I got through it and do hope to win .  Felt very confident..but it had taken me away from all the other jobs I had lined up for the day..so I headed back to my own office ...when ...my usually stoic husband came through the door.........sobbing..and collapsing into the chair. I knew something absolutely awful had happened....My thoughts went to parents or siblings I could only guess what on earth was wrong.. He struggled to tell me and when those two words came out of his mouth...............Jack died..I ..cant explain what happened ...
I just tried to explain.......and I can't.
  Tom on our pond up north.

After absorbing it and thinking many things and realizing it was true driving home it hit me...........I had found out 48 hours after he passed. I wasn't mad for no one telling me ,please don't think that ...it was the fact that for 48 hours I had lived my life like nothing had happened..48 hours my world had changed drastically and I ...well I hadn't noticed...I hadn't noticed that the person we had called friend for over 25 years wasn't feeding his cows or pigs.....wasn't petting his dog or peeling his orange to sit down and eat it with a glass of milk before bed.....I ........hadn't noticed......I hadn't noticed that that old recliner he sank down into sat empty for 2 nights or that his bed wasn't slept in.....or that it was Len his brother putting the logs on the fire those nights.....I hadn't noticed that he hadn't taken a breath .
I had lost someone that new me better than many others I have called my friend ...those spring nights when the boys would go hunting and I would head on over to catch Jack doing his chores. I would follow him around in those early years and we would talk about things, many things.....we would talk about gardening..or who drove the old car last that was parked in the corner of the farm yard...rusted and full of  many items Jack couldn't part with. He would introduce the most recent born calf to me and tell me which one he had bottle fed the year before and as he introduced us the yearling would come and nuzzle him lifting his hand for a pet...or perhaps still looking for that calfing bottle Jack used to offer him.  a trip into the old barn and feed the one kitten on the ledge who Jack went out of his way to feed because the other cats picked on him and then there was the little orange one that had a bad eye that would need to be picked up out of the way of the others so he would get his share too... There were the injured cows most people would butcher ...not Jack he separated them and fed them and cared for them individually until they were well enough to rejoin the herd...We gathered the eggs ...Jacks yard wasn't the most tidy..we would find eggs under edges of old tires ...in amongst a pile of tools, even in an old boot that was torn apart and discarded   he knew where to look but me it was like easter every time we gathered....Then into the chicken coop he would have just rigged up for this years new chicks.... he always got them just toward the end of bear hunting season ....  if I was lucky and came up on the right weekend I would get to see them...chickens and turkeys....I spent hours and hours with him ... we talked and we walked and the dogs walked with us .. the dogs he had tamed to not chase his pets...the many Whitetail deer that lived on his land...we did all the things friends would do....for many years on our trips to the farm....
and for 48 hours it had all changed ...and I didn't notice.......

I think I think too much....