The fawns in the mule deer herd in my yard get weaker by the day. There has been no break for them and the prairie wool grass that provides so much nutrition lies buried deep in the snow. The snow is deep everywhere . Not just in the banks but everywhere they walk the snow is deep and hard.
The fawn One Eye is weak tonight. So weak he couldn't help but allow me to stroke his ears and pet his wee head...I could feel the little antlers that will never grow into majestic tall racks because tonite I know in my heart One Eye will die.
As he lay on top of the snow against the row of caraganas, just out of reach of the brutal force of the wind, he watched and waited for me as I approached . I was able to look closer at the infected right eye and realized the infection had grown into his eyeball.. His other eye looked up at me with a look of hopelessness.. Rubbing my hand across his body it amazed me how tiny this little animal that had been relying on me to give him his special food really was. Maybe 25 pounds....How could a deer that we have fed all winter be lying on the ground infront of me starving to death? He had been eating well ...Here he was......skin and bone literally. HIs one good eye had no glimmer in it tonight... no hope....
The winds were howling and the temperature falling as I debated what to do.....SUGAR water...I rushed into the house the Vet had said their blood sugar drops and that is when they seizure and then they die .....I mixed up a bottle of sweet water and Tom and I decided to load him into the sleigh and put him in the barn out of the wind ...out of the cold ..and only hope he would survive the storm.....
I approached him from one side Tom from the other... AS trusting as he was, with what energy he had he jumped up and staggered through the trees. He had eaten some nuggets before lying down and it had seemed to help him. He then gained momentum and made it to the trees on the east side of the house.
There I was bottle of sugar water in hand following him......doing my best to try save his life....
After basically following him in circles for a half hour I decided if the storm didn't kill him I was going to by pursuing him...I was hurting him more than I was helping him.
One eye had the will to be wild....this over rode his trust in me and and an possible chance of me helping him. Like the other fawn that died he was at a point where he was too strong to receive help yet so close to being weak enough to die.
I have no doubt One Eye will die tonight...Part of me wants to get a big blanket and find him and cover him up and be with him.....either until morning and move him to the barn or until....he dies...
The there is this other part of me ...that looked deep into that one good eye tonight and with love and as much understanding any human could possibly possess I saw that remained a will to be wild . The will to be wild no matter how vulnerable and at risk as is all wildlife is as it exists in our world.
This winter the deer are being dealt a nasty blow from mother nature ......
One Eye ....good bye....
This taming spoken of here by the fox to The Little Prince is important to consider when attaching ones self to a wild animal..... I have a lot to reconsider....
"Just that," said the fox. "To me, you are still nothing more than a little boy who is just like a hundred thousand other little boys. And I have no need of you. And you, on your part, have no need of me. To you I am nothing more than a fox like a hundred thousand other foxes. But if you tame me, then we shall need each other. To me, you will be unique in all the world. To you, I shall be unique in all the world....”
― Antoine de Saint-Exupéry
You
become responsible, forever, for what you have tamed.”
― Antoine de Saint-Exupéry, The Little Prince
― Antoine de Saint-Exupéry, The Little Prince
Good Night
Stay Warm
